Now Sholay scene with Satyam flavor

Jay : Mausi, ladka Satyam mein kaam karta  hai..

Mausi : Hai ram..!!! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya??

Jay : kahan mausi, 2 saal Satyam me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan
hai…
Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se Satyam mein hi hai..
Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary
bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use..
Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..?

Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai  mausi..
Mausi : Hai hai …!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..?
Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to
nahin milti hai na… Mausi..
Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..?

Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite Jane  ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi
anban..
Mausi : To kya AB tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..???

Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer  ki kismat mein to yehi
likha hai mausi..
Mausi : kya kaha ladka  Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!!

Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..?
Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar  de  denge!!
Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi???
Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun Le…Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki, koi
sauteli maa nahi….Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu  se
shaadi kar Le par Satyam ke employee se katai nahin karegi .

India in a nutshell

Just for fun, no offence meant.

Bengali

One Bengali = poet.

Two Bengalis = a film society.

Three Bengalis = political party.

Four Bengalis = two political parties.

More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team.

Bihari

One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav .

Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.

Three Biharis = train capture.

Four Biharis = caste riots

Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna …

Punjabi

One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.

Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.

Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.

Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu

One Mallu = coconut stall.

Two Mallus = a boat race.

Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.

Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya

One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.

Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.

Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.

Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju

One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.

Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.

Three Gujjus = Bombay ’s noisiest restaurant.

Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite

One Andhraite = chili farmer.

Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey ..

Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.

Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Kashmiri

One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.

Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.

Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.

Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin

One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.

Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.

Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.

Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

Mumbaikar

One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.

Two Mumbaikars= film studio.

Three Mumbaikars = slum.

Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Sindhi

One Sindhi = currency racket.

Two Sindhis = papad factory.

Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar …

Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.

Marwari

One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.

Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta

Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.

Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi

One Haryanavi = tube light.

Two Haryanavis = agriculture.

Three Haryannavis = Lathi squad.

Four Haryanavis = actually just one was enough.

Last but the best

Kannadiga

One kannadiga = devegowda

Two kannadigas = devegowda with his son Kumarswamy

Three kannadigas = rivals of devegowda family

Four Kannadigas = total no of kannadigas in bengaluru

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT…

1) I hated sleep.

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.

3) I couldn’t live without tension.

4) I wanted to pay for my sins.

5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle: karm karo, phal ki ichha na karo.

6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.

7) I wanted to take revenge on myself.

Too much workload

“All work and No Play” has become a norm in IT industry today.

A picture is worth thousand words

I never developed an application without errors. It’s so difficult to understand these errors. Why don’t we have something like this…

 

Techie John
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called John the computer guy, to come over.  John clicked a couple of  buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?’
He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’ 
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but  nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error?  What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?’
John grinned ….. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T  error before?’
‘No,’ I replied.
‘Write it down,’ he said,  ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
So I wrote down:  -  I D 1 0 T